Dr. John Delony recently came across a question from a woman whose husband was using “Dave Ramsey’s rules” to control spouse’s spending by denying her request for a new SUV. As Dr. John Delony read through her situation, he couldn’t help but notice something fundamentally wrong with how both spouses were approaching their finances—and their marriage.
This couple brings home $700,000 annually with a net worth close to $1 million. Their only debts are a $600,000 mortgage and a $65,000 loan on a rental property. The wife wants to buy a new midsize SUV, while the husband insists on purchasing a used full-size SUV and keeping it for at least seven years.
What struck Dr. John Delony most wasn’t the car debate itself, but the relationship dynamic it revealed. The wife positioned herself like a teenager asking daddy for permission to spend money, while the husband wielded “Dave’s rules” like a shield to shut down discussion.
This is not what Dave Ramsey teaches about marriage and money.
The core of Ramsey’s financial philosophy includes spouses working together as equal partners. Financial decisions should be made jointly, with both parties having input. The husband in this scenario isn’t following “Ramsey rules” at all if he’s dictating financial decisions without meaningful collaboration with his wife.
The Real Problem: Relationship Dynamics, Not Car Preferences
What’s happening here goes beyond a disagreement about a vehicle purchase or spouse’s spending. It reveals a concerning power imbalance in the marriage. The wife sounds like she’s asking for permission rather than participating in a decision as an equal partner. Meanwhile, the husband appears to be hiding behind financial principles rather than engaging in honest conversation.
When Dr. John Delony looks at the data from successful millionaires, a clear pattern emerges:
-
Over 80% of millionaires have solid marriages where both spouses align on financial goals
-
Successful couples make decisions together rather than one dictating to the other, especially when it comes to spouse’s spending
-
Financial harmony is a stronger predictor of wealth-building than income level
This couple’s dynamic—regardless of their impressive income—doesn’t match the pattern of successful wealth-builders. You simply cannot out-earn relationship dysfunction.
What Ramsey Actually Teaches About Cars
If this couple were truly following Ramsey’s principles, they would first work together to establish shared financial goals—especially around spouse’s spending. Then they would evaluate the car purchase within that framework.
Ramsey does recommend buying used vehicles until you reach a net worth of $1 million, letting someone else take the depreciation hit. But this isn’t a rigid rule—it’s a principle designed to maximize wealth-building potential.
With their income, this couple should be able to:
-
Pay off their rental property completely
-
Make significant progress on their mortgage
-
Save aggressively for their growing family’s future
-
Purchase a reasonable vehicle without financial strain or conflict over spouse’s spending
The fact that they’re arguing over a car purchase while bringing in $700,000 annually suggests their money is flowing out somewhere else. This points to potential budget issues that need addressing through collaborative financial planning.
Stop Using Financial Gurus as Weapons
What bothers me most about this situation is how the husband is using “Dave’s rules” as a weapon in their relationship. Financial principles should be tools for building consensus, not ammunition for winning arguments.
When you use a financial expert’s name to shut down your spouse’s input, you’re not practicing good money management—you’re practicing poor communication. No financial guru worth following would endorse using their teachings to silence your partner.
Money magnifies who we already are. For healthy couples, wealth amplifies their collaborative strength. For couples with underlying issues, money often exposes and intensifies those problems.
This couple needs to stop focusing on the car and start addressing how they make financial decisions together. They need to establish a process where both have meaningful input, where financial principles guide rather than dictate, and where the goal is mutual agreement rather than one person winning.
Only then will they be truly following the wealth-building principles that have helped millions achieve financial freedom—and marital harmony along the way.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: What does Dave Ramsey actually teach about buying cars?
Ramsey generally recommends buying used vehicles and letting someone else absorb the initial depreciation. He suggests waiting until you have a net worth of $1 million before buying new cars. The principle is about maximizing wealth-building potential by minimizing spending on depreciating assets, not creating rigid rules that cause marital conflict.
Q: How should couples make financial decisions according to Ramsey’s principles?
Ramsey advocates for couples to work together as equal partners in financial decisions. Both spouses should have input and “votes” in the process. Financial decisions should stem from mutually agreed-upon goals and values, not from one spouse dictating to the other. The focus should be on collaboration rather than control.
Q: With a $700,000 income, shouldn’t this couple be able to afford any car they want?
While their income is substantial, the question isn’t simply about affordability but about priorities. With a $600,000 mortgage and $65,000 rental property loan, they still have significant debt to address. The concern is that their spending in other areas may be preventing them from building wealth effectively despite their high income. No matter your income level, intentional planning and mutual agreement on financial priorities remain important.
Q: Why is the relationship dynamic so important in financial success?
Research shows that over 80% of millionaires have strong marriages where both partners align on financial goals and strategies. Financial disagreements are among the leading causes of divorce, and relationship dysfunction can undermine even the highest incomes. When couples work as a team with shared vision and mutual respect, they make better financial decisions and stay consistent with their wealth-building plan over time.
