We are drowning in advice that tells us to shut the door, grind in silence, and wait for greatness. I reject that. The smarter move is to expand your luck by meeting people and moving fast. That is how careers jump tracks and bank accounts grow.
After listening to a fierce takedown of “monk mode,” I’m convinced: isolation is a trap for starters. The right play is simple: Just show up in person, stack small wins, and build a network that pulls you forward. This is not self-help fluff. It’s a system.
The Case Against Hiding
Success tends to find people who make themselves easy to find. That means taking more meetings, not fewer. It means swapping Zoom for face-to-face. It means asking for coffee like it’s your job.
“Monk mode is literally the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard… If you want to actually be successful… it’s the opposite of that.”
The message is blunt: stop optimizing your inbox and start optimizing your calendar. Replace a screen with a seat across the table. The upside is massive; the downside is half an hour and a latte.
“I think Zoom meetings are where dreams go to die.”
Investor Bill Gurley calls it finding network effects: go where the action is and get to the middle of it. That isn’t poetry. It’s a tactic.
Make Luck a Math Problem
You can raise your odds on purpose. Think of life as “surface area”: more people, more collisions, more shots on goal. One practical rule stood out: Schedule three meetings a day. Coffee, lunch, dinner. Ruthless? Yes. Effective? Even more so.
For those who want a lighter start, try this weekly cadence. It builds momentum without burning you out.
- Text three people today for coffee or lunch this week.
- Convert one standing call to a walk-and-talk.
- Attend one event where your “Tuesday” heroes hang out.
- Post one thing you learned every day on a single topic.
The goal is consistency, not heroics. Small daily wins release dopamine and keep you moving. Trainer Colin calls it stacking “cheap wins.” He’s right; streaks build belief.
Target People, Not Résumés
Want real mentors? Stop asking for them and start making them. I like the “5F” lens used on senior leaders such as Bob Kendall. It works because it centers on what they care about, not what you want.
- Future: What do they want next?
- Family: Who matters most to them?
- Fun: Hobbies or travel they enjoy?
- Fascination: Ideas or deals that light them up?
- Friction: What’s blocking them, and how can you help?
Use it to pull people in. You bond over value, curiosity, and help; Not asks.
Say Yes, Move Your Feet, Raise Your Bar
Speed beats pedigree. Compress work into short sprints. Try three-day pushes to ship, pitch, or learn. Comfort is the enemy. Growth feels awkward before it pays.
Make meetings a walk. People say yes more often, and fresh air changes the tone. Steve Jobs did this. Maya Angelou reminded us people remember how you made them feel, not your talking points.
And choose depth. David S. argues for mastering one thing and sharing it daily. A year of posting what you learn can make you the go-to voice in a niche you barely know today. That’s not magic; it’s compounding curiosity.
Cut the Venting, Rewire the Loop
There’s real science here. A large meta-study found no support for the idea that venting reduces anger. In fact, it can make it worse. Swap the rant for a “10-second reset.” Note the negative, breathe, then add one positive truth. Over time, your brain takes that path first.
“Stop complaining, stop talking, do the work, and try to be kind.”
My Take
Isolation is a dead end for most strivers. The smarter bet is to raise your surface area: more rooms, more reps, more asks. Meet people who live your dream day as their Tuesday. Learn one thing deeply and ship it daily. Say yes more than you say no. You’ll look up in six months and feel the ground shift.
So here’s my ask: text three people now. Book one walk-and-talk. Pick one topic and post what you learn today. One year from now, you won’t recognize your life. And, you won’t miss monk mode for a second.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: What’s wrong with “monk mode” for beginners?
It isolates you before you know what matters. Early on, you need exposure, feedback, and introductions. In-person conversations speed learning and open doors.
Q: How many meetings should I aim for each week?
Start with three. Keep them in person when possible. Coffee or a walk is enough. The point is building a steady cadence, not perfect planning.
Q: How do I approach someone I admire without being awkward?
Use the 5F lens. Lead with what they care about and offer something useful. Share an idea, a lead, or a solution to a blocker. Value first, ask later.
Q: Can I really become an expert by posting daily?
Yes. If you pick one topic, learn in public, and stay consistent. A year of daily notes compounds into clarity, credibility, and real opportunities.
