How I Overcome Being a Bad Networker

by / ⠀Career Advice Entrepreneurship / February 25, 2014

Business Networking

I’m just not a good networker. I envy those guys who have the skills to speak to anyone and everyone, like my good friend Paseka Kalaku.  I suck at introducing myself to lots of people at an event. What is to follow is how a mediocre networker like me manages to more than just mange at networking.

The other night I was in Robebank, I bumped into a good guy by the name Suede. This dude is a great connector. After greeting him I wondered why I felt gratitude towards him. I remembered that he referred my then clothing label ‘gabble heights’ to participate in an African Fashion International event, without him knowing me personally then. The mileage from that event was awesome.

I guess Maya Angelou was right when she said: “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

He added value to me and I’m forever grateful, and I’m sure in the future I can add value to him too.

With having the concept of adding value in mind, let’s go to the next part…

I’m sure you are going to attend a lot of networking events this year, with the aim of attracting good contacts. And I’m sure in the past or still now you collect a lot of business cards there – 7 to 10 or more, right?

When you get home you do email these folks, just to say hi or whatever.

How many  reply? Not a lot a right? All that effort! It hurts.

A mentor of mine keeps saying you know you have made it when you don’t reply to all emails. I guess he is talking about mails from guys like me.

It’s ok. Here is something that I do and is working well for me in growing my network. I don’t make it a point to collect a lot of business cards or meet everyone at an event, 5 cards are ok. I make it a point to get into a bit detailed conversations with these 5 people.

A good conversation is one where you are listening, asking questions, probing and, giving advice if suitable.

Everyone likes to talk about themselves. So that’s easy.

When I get home, I look at each card and think who I can link this person with – so they both can benefit from each other or maybe even do business together. I don’t have to gain financially. Or I try helping them get a solution to their challenge which they told me of at the event.

So, the best way I grow my network is I try to add value to whoever I invite in it.

These people will know me as a person of value, and will refer me to others as a person with value. The best business I enjoy is referral business.

I have noticed that some of the best relationships I enjoy are those where I added a bit of value, without being asked.  And, some good people I lost, because I persistently only took from them.

I don’t need to introduce myself to 100 people at one event; I just have to add value to my current network and think creatively of how to add value to whoever I want to invite in it.

Once you add value to someone, they will ever feel gratitude towards you.

Tiisetso Maloma is the author of Forget The business Plan Use This Short Model and the free booklet ‘Township Biz Fastrack’. He is a business model consultant and an avid growth hack marketing explorer. Follow him on twitter @TiisetsoMaloma and Facebook

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About The Author

Matt Wilson

Matt Wilson is Co-Founder of Under30Experiences, a travel company for young people ages 21-35. He is the original Co-founder of Under30CEO (Acquired 2016). Matt is the Host of the Live Different Podcast and has 50+ Five Star iTunes Ratings on Health, Fitness, Business and Travel. He brings a unique, uncensored approach to his interviews and writing. His work is published on, Forbes, Inc. Magazine, Huffington Post, Reuters, and many others. Matt hosts yoga and fitness retreats in his free time and buys all his food from an organic farm in the jungle of Costa Rica where he lives. He is a shareholder of the Green Bay Packers.